Tony D’Annunzio and Danny Noonan tee off and almost complete the Caddy Tournament in one minute. How’s their form? How should we know? All we understand is the use of Star Wars wipes, which leads to a pleasant Rogue One chat.

Ty Webb tells Danny Noonan that a flute with no holes is not a flute, and Tony D’Annunzio is about to tee off at the Caddy Tournament. Determining the stakes of this tournament might take all day.

It turns out Ty Webb has not been lining up a shot, and he tells Danny Noonan about Mitch Cumstein and Basho. In other news, the internet is a dodgy proposition at best.

Dr. Beeper sits in something, Carl gets yelled at again by McFiddish, Danny Noonan tells Ty Webb he just has to win that caddy tournament, and we pine for the heyday of Nicholas Cage.

Mrs. Smails complains about that disgusting Al Czervik, who is no doorknob, and who busts up this joint by getting Ringo to play Boogie Wonderland, which Dan would like performed at his funeral.

Lacey Underall gets vague about Ty Webb’s ties and Spaulding barfs his guts out into a car, which inspires the boys to talk about excellence in barfing.  

Al Czervik orders a drink from Tony D’Annunzio, Lacey Underall gets flirty with Ty Webb, and our guest Mark Cerulli of the Airport Minute podcast shares stories of meeting Rodney Dangerfield and live nudity.

Carl Spackler takes aim at the gopher, Ty Webb flirts with an entire room, and Tony D’Annunzio asks Al Czervik if he can make a shoe smell. Meanwhile, Tom explains Superman, Dan finally loves Chevy Chase, and Mike warns against dating inflatables. Bonus: More horrible hipster jokes.

Maggie warns Danny Noonan about girls and Carl aims his rifle/flashlight as Dan and Mike confuse Tom with a story about baseball or something.

Al Czervik wonders if someone stepped on a duck before getting up to work the room, taking down Judge Smails, Bishop Pickering, Spaulding and others in the process, all while the boys enjoy Thanksgiving in Tom’s parents’ basement.